After Alvin loses the election for class president, his girlfriend, and the cover of Hot Rockers magazine on the same day, he becomes depressed. Dave and his brothers try to cheer him up with a cake, some books, and Bruce Springsteen tickets. Alvin enters into an identity crisis after he reads one of Simon's books, Being The Other Guy Is Always Better, and tries out some different personalities. His first choice is "The Boss" - a tough biker-like figure who jackhammers the driveway. His second choice is "Michael" - a dancer who borrows Simon's life-savings to buy a llama who eats the couch. Some of his other choices include a monk, martial artist, cowboy, and Elvis. His final choice is a corporate banker who collects all the money in the house and tries to cut costs around the house. Thoroughly annoyed, Dave and his brothers decide to dress and act like the real Alvin to show him that only one is better.
- "I've Got To Be Me" originally performed by Sammy Davis, Jr.